Before we moved to South Africa, many well-meaning acquaintances warned us of the dangers we would face, and advised us strongly against making this crazy move. The fact that quite a few of these acquaintances did not even own passports, but had become experts on SA by sitting on their backsides in their habitual corner of the pub, sharing the occasional pint with a South African ex-pat, did not do much to deter us from our chosen course. (We had visited SA twelve times and read extensively and done our research, but this was, of course, not an acceptable excuse for begging to differ)
In fact, the check-out lady in the local supermarket was the one who gave me the most sure indication that we were doing the right thing, when she leaned forward and said ‘I am so jealous. You will never have to iron anything again.’
Choosing between a life with no ironing in a country with a high crime rate, and a life where I would have to work until the age of 83 to pay off my mortgage, and keep ironing for the rest of my miserable life…… it was a no-brainer. As we had discovered on our travels, the violent crime associated with South Africa is most prevalent in the sprawling cities, and not in the smaller rural towns. And, as mentioned in a previous post, Swellendam is not bestrewn with burglar bars and high walls, because we don’t need them.
THE IRON LADY
We had only been living in Swellendam for two days when we employed Beauty, who has since made it her mission in life to teach me how to behave like a ‘Madam’ should. She despairs of my tendency to scruffy clothing, and she takes care to point out to me local ladies who are dressed like ‘proper’ Madams. (This usually involves floral skirts worn decently at calf length, and hip length over-blouses). Sadly, it appears that Beauty herself has become corrupted by my casual approach and now owns several pairs of calf length jeans (which come down to her ankle, as she is vertically challenged) and strappy tops. Apparently, because she lives in Swellendam this is OK, as her husband’s more traditional Xhosa family live in George, so can’t see her. And the ancestors are looking the other way.
WHAT NOT TO WEAR….
If ever we get a chance for a breakaway, Beauty insists on packing my suitcase (everything perfectly ironed) to make sure that I am dressed smartly and guards it fiercely so that I can’t remove or add anything. Though sometimes I discover on arrival at our destination her choices have proved somewhat inappropriate, (it’s not easy to negotiate the dunes at De Hoop Nature Reserve in a sparkly top, pencil skirt and high heels).
Having Beauty and her family (Simon and their two daughters, Nolyvuyo (16) and Nosphosihle Amanda (6)) in our lives has been an enrichment in many more ways than just having a wardrobe full of perfectly ironed clothes. She is a bright woman who left school early, and never considered herself intelligent. Her command of Afrikaans is equal to that of her mother tongue Xhosa. Although she now speaks full idiomatic English, with a cut glass English accent, initially there were some misunderstandings. She came to work one day saying, “we (her friends and neighbours) had a long discussion about appetite yesterday, it was very upsetting, I am feeling very, very sad today”. As Beauty is quite a traditionally built African lady who enjoys her food tremendously, we were puzzled as to why appetite was a potentially tragic story.
It was some time before we worked out she was referring to apartheid.
THAT GOOGLY THING
There have been some other misunderstandings regarding language and culture. Beauty came up with the idea to provide Xhosa Feasts for the guests at the guesthouse. We jumped at the chance to give her an opportunity to develop her own business as well as enhance our own. Xhosa Feasts were duly added to the website and it was not long before a request came in from some guests who had booked in for a few nights.
The following conversation ensued between Beauty and Madam.
B: What am I going to cook?
M: (puzzled) Well, I don’t know, for goodness sake, I’m English! What actually is traditional Xhosa food?
B: I’m not really sure – can’t you use that googly thing to find out?
M: But you must know, what do you eat at weddings and family get-togethers?
B: (light dawns) Kentucky Fried Chicken, of course!
(M gets rapidly onto the googly thing)
M: It’s samp and beans, mfino spinach, baked chicken, mealie pap……
B: (interrupting) But that’s what we eat all the time, who on earth wants to eat that..
M: ..sigh….
The feasts have been very successful, and have given Beauty an additional source of income: it is her fervent desire that Nossi, the little one, will get a good education, so any spare cash she gets goes into the “Nossi Treasure Chest”, which is firmly screwed down, ready for opening on the day Nossi is ready to start school.
Beauty’s greatest love is décor, and she is responsible for many of the elegant touches and extras around our place. Her second greatest love is shopping – and after that, her lovely family. Her self-confidence has grown along with the business, from being a domestic worker initially, she has become an efficient manager, staff-trainer, receptionist, and handles the booking software and the googly thing with aplomb! She retains the privilege of ironing, however, as she feels, and rightly so, that no one can match her perfectionism.
“Madam” and Beauty have become fast friends, despite every effort on “Madam’s” part to remain a professional employer and keep a respectable distance from the employees. We have been through a lot together – including running out of petrol in the middle of nowhere, when on a trip to the hospital for her antenatal check-up. In 42 degrees heat: Beauty was eight and a half months pregnant, and the only life forms available to help were a very curious troop of baboons, keen to share the impending crisis. We had a nine year old child (Noly) and no water. (And no airtime) To find out how the story ends – make a booking at Impangele, where Beauty and I have begun to write a book together about our adventures! Beauty is going to be doing a guest spot on this blog very soon – you don’t want to miss that one.
